Posted by: E (The Third Glance) | February 29, 2012

Jury Duty and Autism: How I survived jury duty

About a month ago, I got a jury summons. I freaked out, because I’d never gotten one before, and didn’t know what to do, and I’m terrified of the telephone, so I had to show up on the day of duty. Now, I don’t know who they’re fooling! I would be a TERRIBLE juror. Talk about sensory and social overload. 8 hours a day in a courtroom being verbally bombarded by extremely disturbing facts, evidence, etc, all designed to make you see one person’s side of the story, then listen to the opposite side give another side of the story, probably all the while, disputing everything the other side just tried to say? God that sentence didn’t even make much sense! Plus once the trial was over, I’d have to spend hours locked in a room with 11 other NTs and their loudness and hyper verbal activities, discussing everything that had been said during the case, and attempt to come to a decision. NO WAY could I function in that situation. I can barely discuss things I know about in groups of 3-5 people who I am familiar with! 12 strangers, an extremely stressful situation, all new, conflicting information? Well if I hadn’t already had a major meltdown, I would most certainly not be functioning properly. But that isn’t, apparently, a valid excuse for not showing up for jury duty.

So this morning, I made my way to the courthouse, armed with books, my Rubik’s cube, my laptop, and several papers I needed to read for class, along with a bunch of snacks, and a small stuffed animal for comfort. I was also armed with 4 copies of a letter (which is at the bottom of this post), explaining my difficulties and why I would not make a fair, responsible juror. I intended to use it if I shut down and lost speech, which happens rarely, but I felt like it might happen in this sort of situation.

I went to the nice officials and once again pleaded my case for discounting me from jury duty. I was so terrified of talking to them that I probably screwed it up badly, but they said it was not a valid excuse and that the judge would have to make that call for himself. So I found a seat in a corner of the big orientation room and listened to the orientation. Thank goodness for my Rubik’s cube – it made a wonderful stim toy for my hands to move around. I was completely off in stimmy-land, with my brain fighting incredibly hard to NOT go there, because I didn’t want to cause trouble. But rocking, tapping, and lots of solving and scrambling of my cube were happening. And it was all I could do to not melt or shut down completely.

A little more than an hour later, I was called in the second group of people to go to a trial room. So we all walked up there and waited some more. Then we were called into the courtroom. I was #29 (a prime! Yay! I really like prime numbers, so it was comforting to be assigned a prime number). We were introduced to the judge (who was actually really nice and not terrifying at all) and the other officials and the defendant. I was assigned to a criminal rape case. (Just that alone was enough to make me start rocking more. I almost curled up into a ball in my chair but managed not to.) They asked lots of questions to the group and had people raise their hands to talk. Even though they asked questions like “do you believe you can be a fair and impartial juror for this case?” (My answer: impartial: absolutely. Fair? Absolutely not, for all the reasons stated above and several others.) I couldn’t bring myself raise my hand. I was definitely rocking and my legs were tapping like crazy. I picked a spot on the back of the chair in front of me and stared at it, counting grains in the wood. Then finally, they stopped asking group questions and started going around to the individual jurors in order, asking us a set of basic information they had handed us when we walked into the room. Basic things: name, occupation, occupations of household members, do you know anyone in law enforcement, and finally “can you be a fair and impartial juror?”

For the whole time they were asking questions and for the 28 jurors before, I was scripting my line. “My name is E. I am a PhD student in science. My roommate is also a graduate student. I do not know anyone in law enforcement. I believe I can be impartial, but I do not believe I would be a fair juror, due to serious communication issues. I do not think I would be able to speak in a jury.” When it came time for me to speak, I got through it. I was definitely rocking when I said it, and I stumbled over words. Nerves? Yeah, definitely… but I think it might have helped in the end. Anyway, the judge looked at me, then said “we’ll chat later” and moved on. No further questions for me like he’d given the other jurors. It was very nice, actually. Then the rest of the room finished up. Overall, the judge was a really really nice guy, funny, friendly, and not obviously angry for having to be there, and enjoyed his job.

Finally, they dismissed everyone for lunch, and called out a few people to stay behind… me, a couple of professors, a woman who had been a rape victim, and one or two others. They told us to all wait outside the courtroom, then called everyone back in except me. After a minute they all left as a group, and I went in alone. They didn’t tell me to sit down, so I stood, awkwardly, right at the front of the room, rocking back and forth on my toes. The judge said to me “You said that you might not feel comfortable speaking in a jury situation due to communication problems. Could you please elaborate?”

And so I responded, all the while rocking back and forth, staring at some place near the judge: “I have autism spectrum disorder and while I am ok talking 1 on 1, I cannot keep up in groups bigger than about 3 or 4. On a jury of 12 I would not be able to think, follow, or process the conversation, much less communicate appropriately or effectively.” (Or something to that effect, anyway. I don’t think I paused for punctuation, though there were definitely other awkward pauses while I was trying to spit out the words to all the people staring at me. But I did manage to advocate for myself.)

The judge looked at the two lawyers, and said “any objections?” both said “no” and he looked at me and said “You are excused from serving on this jury. Please return to jury services and turn in your badge.” And I was done. First round of cuts. They also cut the other people who had asked to stay behind. All the academics in the room were cut, too, so its quite possible that being a PhD student in sciences also had to do with my being eliminated. If Autism hadn’t come up, I probably would’ve been cut relatively quickly after that for the academic thing.

And that was that. I served my jury duty, just like every other citizen. It was extremely stressful (though not nearly so stressful as it would have been if I’d been there longer, or been put on the actual jury). But now I have a script for the next time it happens. And maybe, just maybe, over the course of my lifetime, I will get to a place where I can serve on a jury. Because, ironically, I think Autistic people might be some of the best jurors (along with scientists, who are also in the first cut in general), because we deal so well with taking literal meanings, and facts, and making connections. We wouldn’t be as easily swayed one way or another by intimidating body language of witnesses/lawyers/etc. And we are very logical and most of us have a deep black and white respect for rules. And we’re pretty darn good at being impartial and fair. Maybe we wouldn’t make the best jurors ever, but we’d definitely not be the worst. But due to the nature of the court system, and the way that court proceedings transpire, excludes many of us, and definitely me, from being fair, responsible jurors. I believe that everyone on trial deserves a fair and responsible jury. And at this time, that jury does NOT include me. It’s a shame I have to go all the way to the courtroom to have this understood, since it is a waste of everyone’s time, however that’s the system, however broken or not broken it is. Maybe one day I’ll be able to perform the “civic duty” of sitting on a jury, but until that day comes, it is both irresponsible and completely unfair for all parties if I participate. My civic duty is to express that, clearly enough to get my point across and ensure that I am not placed on a jury until I am ready to perform that job properly and responsibly.

And courtroom random tidbit: Juror #11 in my group was the supervisor/boss for Juror #10. They had both been assigned the same day of jury duty, then randomly selected for the same trial, and then randomly seated next to each other. What are the odds? The judge joked with them that they should go out and buy a lottery ticket, since the odds are so random for them that day. Man it’d be awkward to be on a jury with my boss!


I mentioned that I came armed with a letter to hand to the judge in case my brain shut down and I lost speech. This is what it said:

To Whom It May Concern:

I received an official diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder in 6th grade, for which I do not have the paperwork. I have not since been re-assessed (for paperwork purposes only), as I cannot afford the evaluation fees as an adult. This means that I shut down in unfamiliar and stressful situations. Sometimes I even lose my ability to process spoken language, both input (being spoken to) and output (my own speech). Thus I have written this out so that in the event that I do lose my ability to process speech, I can hand it to you and you can read it.

I believe this fact alone would make me an irresponsible and thus inappropriate juror. In the context of a trial, there is an extreme amount of verbal input because testimonies are made verbally. In a situation where I am comfortable, with information that I have seen before, I might be able to process 2 or 3 hours of that in a day. However in the case of a trial, all of the verbal input is new information, and it is in a setting where I am not comfortable and am prone to sensory overload and shutting down in the first place. Additionally, while I am ok speaking one-on-one, I cannot keep up with conversations in groups of 3 or more. Due to this, I would not be able to actively participate in a 12-person jury discussion – I would get lost within the first 5 minutes and be unable to voice my opinions. Additionally, when I get stressed, I rock in my seat and occasionally click my tongue or snap my fingers. This is not voluntary, and while it can be stopped, it can only be stopped at the cost of understanding the things being spoken to me. As a rational person, I can see how this would be very disruptive to a courtroom.

While I do agree that it is my civic duty to serve on a jury, I also believe that it is my civic duty to pay attention to every piece of evidence presented and come to a rational judgment, without causing any disturbance to the court or other jurors. Unfortunately, if I have had to give this letter to an official, it is clear to me that I would not be able to do that and fulfill my duties and oath as a responsible juror. Given the above: 1. that I am unable to process verbal language at a fast enough rate to intake all of the information given in a full day of testimony; 2: that I am unable to communicate effectively in large groups of people; and 3. that my responses to stress can be extremely disruptive, and while they are somewhat preventable, the faculties required for me to prevent them would make me even less able to process the information being presented, I believe it would not be fair to the people involved a fair trial if I were placed on a jury.

Thank you for your time and consideration.


I didn’t touch on my inability to read nonverbal communication or any of my issues with sensory processing and not being able to be in a courtroom with flickering lights and lots of sounds (the microphone they had kept going haywire and I was so wound up tight that I must have jumped out of my seat 6 or 7 times when it went nuts). Both of those are important points as well. I didn’t include them for space reasons, and because I felt what I had touched upon was more than sufficient to get me excused. In the end, I didn’t use it, but it was nice to know I had the extra tool. Thanks to @ItsBridgetsWorld (Bridget Allen) for proofreading it for me this morning!




  1. OHO! Ok, this is an outstanding post. OUTSTANDING! Thank you for writing this. I hope you don’t mind a diatribe comment:

    I served on a jury a little over a year ago. I have TS and OCD. So even though I didn’t have the concerns you voiced, I did have concerns. (Would I have been found in contempt of court if I had a day with bad vocals and simply couldn’t get a handle on them? One of many.)

    I was selected as an alternate, and served for the duration of the trial. None of the jurors were excused, so I was not needed once deliberation began. I didn’t get to see the entire process, but I saw a fair bit of it.

    Some of what you say is 100% accurate. Some might not have been a real concern in practice:

    I agree that someone with autism would actually make an outstanding juror. (I wish you could have served for that reason alone!) Most of what happens during a jury trial is pageantry. It’s not even a real debate. It’s two people putting on a show, trying to be persuasive. From my limited exposure to people with autism, I get the feeling this would have had a lot less of an impact on you. If anything, you would have provided a far more impartial opinion than the average person. That’s what jury trials need.

    For that same reason, the judge who presided over the case I served didn’t excuse academics, engineers, scientists, or anyone else from an analytical field. The academics who were excused from the trial you were called in on may have been teaching class, and may have had to administer exams and finals. (That can be a valid excuse, depending on the judge.) The judges here, at any rate, seem to like having analytical thinkers on the panel.

    In the courtroom, only one person may speak at a time. This is so the court reporter can make a transcript of everything that is said. I have difficulty sorting out multiple voices. Restaurants are absolute hell to me. The courtroom was a blessing. Only one person talking, and they had to speak into a microphone that ran to a speaker mounted directly in front of each of the jurors. There was only one person I couldn’t understand. When that happened, a juror raised their hand to request the person speak more clearly. Simple.

    Up until deliberation, jurors may not (CANNOT!) talk amongst themselves about the trial. Up until that point, the only communication between jurors is casual, and must be unrelated to the case. Several of us brought books and read them during recess. I plowed my way through three books on writing before the trial was done. The jury room tended to be pretty quiet.

    During deliberation, each juror MUST have the opportunity to weigh in. Regardless of your communication style (one on one vs. group conversation vs. presentation; eye contact vs. no eye contact) the other jurors MUST allow you to speak your piece. It is the job of the jury foreman to make sure you get that chance. If you do not feel your opinion has been heard, you can bring it to the attention of the bailiff.

    It helps to have someone on the jury who is a detail oriented analytical thinker. A medical examiner testified during the trial I served on. I’m trained as a first responder, so I was able to follow most of what she was saying. Unfortunately I don’t think many (any?) of the other jurors did. Since I was an alternate, I had no opportunity to discuss this with the other jurors. I have a sinking suspicion this misunderstanding led to a misunderstanding of the defendant’s intent, which completely changed the verdict of the court. Had just ONE analytical thinker been in the deliberation room to explain to the other jurors what the ME was saying, the outcome would have been drastically different.

    Your reservations about the nature of the case are completely valid. I have nothing to say about that. The one I served on was a kidnapping / assault / murder trial. I still have nightmares because of it.

    I hope you and I both have the opportunity to serve in the future. And I hope you’ll give it a try. Remember, the court has a mechanism in place in case a juror is unable to fulfill the requirements of the job: alternates. In the event that you are selected to serve, and several days into the trial you realize you can’t continue, you can approach the bailiff to explain the situation and ask to be removed. By all means discuss your reservations with the judge beforehand. It’s their call whether you serve or not, after all. But don’t rule yourself out. It won’t throw the case if you have to leave.

    If I ever wind up standing trial, I hope there are analytical thinkers in the jury. I can’t stand pageantry. If I am ever convicted, I’d rather it be for clear, logical reasons rather than because one attorney is better than another at stoking emotions and obfuscating the truth.

    Again, excellent post. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

    • Wow, that’s quite a response! Thank you for your input 🙂 And yes, a controlled courtroom does have one person talking at a time. Regardless, I’m limited in how much verbal input I can deal with at all. I have a daily maximum. The time required to sit on a jury greatly exceeds my daily maximum for dealing with verbal input.

      Discussing things OTHER than the trial with other jurors is very difficult for me. I don’t do small talk, and often can’t figure out how to communicate with someone on topics other than the information at hand. For this reason, I can deal with my classmates in a class-like context, but not in an out-of-class context. I do not see how this would be different in a jury context.

      Also, that’s just the thing – its 2 people trying to be persuasive. I only hear their words. I don’t see how those words are delivered. And due to that, I feel like I would be only getting part of the story.

      Also, the one thing you said about being able to get out if you find yourself unable to perform properly. That takes self-advocacy skills that I may or may not be in command of during that kind of an experience. I *hate* lying, and spent the first open questioning period in the courtroom thinking “I can’t be a fair juror. they keep asking if anyone believes they can’t, then having them speak. I need to add myself in there. But I can’t get my brain to turn on enough to speak. HELP!” – the only reason I managed to speak at all was because there was the structure where we all spoke, and I had written prompts. And then the only way I was able to advocate was when I was asked a direct question. I do not know if I would be able to do so without those sorts of circumstances.

      But again, you make great points. I agree, Autistic people would make great jurors. Except for the stressful way that the whole thing is carried out and the focus on conversation and deliberation at the end. That was my main worry, was that even if there was singled out speaking in that situation, I wouldn’t be able to accurately discuss my opinion, nor would I be able to jump in and be able to advocate for my position appropriately. I wouldn’t be able to keep up. And that is really not fair to the defendant, or really, to the rest of the jury.

      • E,
        Remembering my jury-duty of twenty years ago, I can so relate to your post and everything you said in this reply. Thanks for your analysis of the jury situation, and for your great example of preparedness and self-advocacy.

      • Thank you for sharing this, my son is called for jury duty and I want to make sure he understands what is going on and how to deal with the sensory overload issues.Some people do not get that…I hope they will understand that he has issues because he does not like to admit that he has Aspergers.

      • I’m glad it may help you and your son. I do not like admitting I am autistic either – it puts you in a very vulnerable position. I definitely would have appreciated some description like this before I went into it. Good luck to him!

  2. Another gripping piece. Who said long copy was dead?! I’m at the end of a tiring day yet your story kept me to the end. If I ever get caught visiting vengeance on the bullies of my youth, I’d be honoured to have you as my juror! 🙂

  3. This was an excellent post. I was with you, in that court room, and could feel your anxiety and the pressure. Wow. Intense. I am so glad you were excused rather quickly. I had to serve on a jury once, and another time testify. Testifying was hard…with the swearing to tell the “whole” truth, I had a very hard time with yes/no answers. The jury experience was not too bad, except I knew the man was guilty, but the lawyer didn’t have the evidence. I brought all my computer manuals and absorbed myself in studying about my computer.

    What are the odds, really, of the two people supervisor/boss being seated together? This post really was one of the favorites I’ve read on blogs. Thanks.

  4. Brilliant post, and great comments too. I’m sorry you weren’t excused more quickly than you were – but glad that the judge respected your self-awareness and didn’t insist on you proving the point. I like to think I’d be prepared to give jury service a go, but would want to know I could be excused if I couldn’t handle it.

    I love the worker/supervisor coincidence: it’s a fine reminder that the one-in-a-million statistics, however unbelievable, are true! :o)

  5. […] How to survive jury duty while autistic. […]

  6. Hi E! Very well done post, and generous of you to share your letter.

    I posted a link to this post at The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism’s Facebook page. It seems that folk often comment there, rather than coming back to the original post, so here’s the link:

    • Hi Liz! Thanks so much for the share and the link. 🙂 The reason I posted the letter was exactly what you highlighted in the facebook message – an example or model for others to use. When I got summoned I spent HOURS (and I mean hours upon hours) searching the web for any resources at all for Autistic people having to serve jury duty, and came up completely empty-handed. All the stuff out there is for parents who have the sole care of Autistic kids, which is important in and of itself, but not terribly relevant for me. I’m hoping this can serve as a resource for Autistic adults in future.

      • I’ve always wanted to serve on a jury. (I’m Autistic.) I hadn’t actually considered all of the potential issues with that, as I too have trouble with processing solely verbal information even if it is only one person speaking. Usually, I draw pictures to compensate, so that I can associate the visual output with the auditory input; I’ve done that during classes, meetings, lectures, and sermons, and it’s been very helpful for me to process and retain more auditory information.

        I had to write a similar letter to one of my professors this semester to explain that without an assignment-specific accommodation, I couldn’t complete a regular assignment because of my auditory processing problems. I might post that to my blog at some point so that other students can have an example of a tool they might be able to use should they be unable to express themselves verbally or effectively verbally.

        Thanks for your post, E.

        Blessings and peace,

      • Hi Lydia! Thanks for the comment! I’m sorry my reply took so long since you left it. I love your blog, by the way – it’s really great to read and think about. 🙂

  7. This is really fantastic to have as an example.

    I’ve been called for jury duty several times but never actually wound up serving–once I made it to voir dire but was cut for reasons unknown to me. I would be okay as far as language processing goes (I work in theater and was dedicated to extemporaneous debate in college); my major concerns would be in not being allowed to take notes (I think this depends on the court and what kind of a trial it is. I can listen fine, even for a long time, but I need to be able to process important information INTO a visual format), the tendency of others to react negatively to me because of my reserved nature and odd vocal cadence, potentially getting into a situation in which I’d be bullied by other jury members if I wouldn’t back down from either an ethical or logical stance on a case, or if we couldn’t reach a verdict in a fairly limited amount of time, being held in that situation indefinitely, which is when I tend to start getting claustrophobic and having meltdowns.

    And it’s sort of a pity, because I think I’m a fair person, who values civil liberties, is good at evaluating evidence and multiple angles, and would be valuable to the process. But the risks of winding up in a bad situation are compromising.

    • Thanks for the comment! And I totally agree – I think I’m a fair person, etc. But wouldn’t make it through a jury situation.

  8. Great post, very interesting read, and very well handled on your part.

  9. I can’t see why we need a courtroom. They could email the evidence to impanelled jurors, plus explanatory documents. The jurors could make a logical decision without being confused by theatrics.

    • I love that. And totally agree! Except, then those people who live for theatrics and histrionics (most of the NT’s) would think it wasn’t a fair trial. *sigh*

  10. Fascinating post, E. And definitely something to think about (a lot of your posts seem to end with me saying that!).

    I got called to jury duty once – was hyper nervous about it – and they ended up getting 12 people that were fully agreed on before they got to me. What a relief.

    And I never even considered any of the details above, because at that time, I didn’t know (or at least hadn’t internalized) the fact that I have ASD. I didn’t internalize it until my meltdown in 2007 (not that I thought be autistic or Aspie was a bad thing… but the one time I tried to get a diagnosis before that, I was informed after a 1-1/2 hour interview that if I was an Aspie, I was the most together Aspie the doctor had ever seen… which did *not* help). So sensory stuff? I just knew light hurt my eyes, and loud and high-pitched sounds hurt my ears. I just knew that I communicated much better by email and reading books than by face-to-face or phone (which I *hated*, and still hate) communication. And it really never struck me that I might get called for jury duty again. (Out of sight, out of mind, huh?)

    But really, you have a lot of good points there (and thank you, Tom Benedict, for your description of what jury duty was like!). I suspect my main problem wouldn’t be the verbal stuff (though I *know* I would end up wiped every evening); it would be the *having to make a decision*.

    I have a huge amount of trouble making even simple decisions if they affect *anyone* else. For myself, it’s no huge matter – I go with what feels right to me. But if someone else wants to go out with me (like a friend) – to a movie, or a coffee shop, or shopping… in most cases, *they’re* the ones who have to make the decision as to where to go, unless it’s planned out in advance. I just *can’t*, without a huge effort.

    Put me under pressure? Any type of pressure? (Like say a parent’s impatiently demanding, “Make up your mind, are you coming or not?”) I freeze up. Words go, I can’t focus, all of that (which I’m sure is familiar in some way or another). It’s impossible.

    Added to that, my habit of seeing both sides of an equation (taught to me either by my reading things that emphasized that the world was and is shades of grey, or someone telling me to list out the pros and cons of ideas – I don’t know, it was probably subconscious)… and if there’s the *slightest* hint of greyness… again, I can’t decide. How do I weigh the pros and cons against each other?

    So in a lot of ways… I wouldn’t make a good addition to a jury, even if all the sensory stuff *was* dealt with. Yes, I try to be fair and impartial – but I just can’t make decisions. It’s pretty much that simple.

    Thank you for your post, E!

    😉 tagAught

  11. […] then I read The Third Glance’s article about how she survived jury duty, and in my response, I found myself explaining about why I wouldn’t make a good candidate for […]

  12. […] then I read The Third Glance’s article about how she survived jury duty, and in my response, I found myself explaining about why I wouldn’t make a good candidate for […]

  13. Excellent post. I didn’t find out I was ASD until age 61 but was terrified of jury duty. Got physically I’ll and thus excused the first few times and thereafter got a doctor’s note, God bless him.
    Love your blog.

  14. Wow! Thank you so much for this post. My daughter is the same. I only have a diagnosis for auditory processing delay though. She turned 21 in April, doesn’t drive and is full time student. I don’t know what I’m going to do. She won’t answer the phone, only speaks to people she knows. Somehow that doesn’t get you out of jury duty?!? I guess, depending on the case, it’s a dream to have someone like that as juror. But not good for the process. She would be forced by people around her with her lack of speech. Loved the letter taken in hand to court house. I’m going to have to write one similar armed with the early childhood documents to prove it. Again thank you so much! I’ve been searching everywhere with what to do! You are awesome! I know you will be the next Google creator!!!!

  15. Brilliant! Thanks for writing this. My 28yr old son has just recieved his summons and has since gone into melt down. He was diagnosed on the autistic spectrum at the age of 14yrs old and placed on a work related curriculum due to his inability to conform to a school environment for all the reasons you have shared in your personal account of your symptoms.
    My son is a Chef in a small Nursing home. He is a brilliant chef but due to his unique and wonderful brain he cannot work with other people.
    We have the added hinderance of not being able to process written language very easily or the dexterity to be able to write. This has a knock on effect when trying to fill out official forms or write letters to judges. It can take him up to an hour to write a sentence. Then if one letter is the wrong shape or size he will have to start all over again. So one form is never enough and we will need more than the 7 days allowed to complete the form.
    We also do not have any written evidence of his diagnosis as it was only sent to the school and they no longer have it.
    My son does not drive. It woukd be far too dangerous and he also suffers from paranoia. He cannot use public transport because he does not trust it and he would have to be on it with people he doesnt know. Last time he took a bus I recieved a call from the driver telling me he had to leave him at a bus stop because he had a panic attack, got off the bus for air and could not let go of the bus stop to get back on.
    Therefore for my son to turn up to court on the day of his service 12th December. I am having to take leave from work for 2 weeks (just in case they dont dismiss him) so that I can take him and collect him.
    His stress will be palpable. I am anticipating that it will be a disaster and he will inevitably be arrested for disrupting the court because he will unleash his turrets on everyone and punch someone who he feels has looked at him the wrong way.
    I had not thought about taking a letter with him. What a fantastic idea. I will scribe one for him at once.

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