This post is not strictly autism-related, but has more to do with my current predicament of having extra bones in my ankle. Since I am by definition, and optimist – my way of coping with bad situations is to try and find the good things, even if there are very very few good things about it. While my ankle is swollen, unhappy, immobilized, and generally not very pleasant, I’ve been trying to think of it as more of an inconvenience, which has helped me to stay sane. Plus, due to the amazingness of the doctors (and I guess, my own luck), I have a beautiful boot that can come off for showers, and it’s unlikely (though not ruled out yet, sadly) that I’ll need surgical intervention and repair. So that is super super happy. And all things considered, it could be a lot LOT worse, injury-wise. Plus my friends and colleagues have been super amazing and helpful in getting me to and from places and helping with a few household chores and such, so I’m doing mostly OK. And thus, so, I bring you tonight’s post… 8 reasons to break your ankle*, from yours truly.
8 reasons to break your ankle*
- No more pesky walking! With a broken limb which cannot take any weight, walking is now a thing of the past. The alternative, which involves 3 legs and two arms, is far more entertaining, and most certainly helps make use of muscles you never knew you had. Plus, you can learn how to glide… it’s almost like flying!
- You don’t have to worry about finding a matching pair of shoes or socks – you only need one anyway!
- You have the opportunity to watch tons of TV and movies. You’re rooted basically to one spot, and really, sometimes, that’s all your brain is good for. I have finally started watching Dr. Who, which I have been meaning to do for years. It’s pretty awesome, though my brain can only deal with one episode per day, if that… And I’ve watched a fair amount of the Olympics, too, which I missed while I was abroad. And the books. Don’t forget the books. I’ve gotten lots of quality reading done, and am very grateful for books.
- Innovation – since your hands are now occupied holding up your bodyweight, your inventive imagination will come up with all sorts of ways to transport other things from point A to point B. And you can revel in internal pride at how much your brain manages to come up with. Plus, if you can’t figure it out, someone is usually willing to do it for you.
- Efficiency! How much can you do in the one trip outside of the house you’re taking today? Executive functioning, while usually rather low, does take a boost when I have to plan my day around the few hours that I am able to be up and moving.
- You’ll learn just exactly how amazingly difficult every day things like stairs and doors are. But never fear, you’ll also learn to conquer them, and wow yourself with your agility.
- You’ll discover the joys of your couch and piles of pillows. And just how much gravity really is a heartless bi*ch. Not that you didn’t know that already, from when you fell and gravity was against you then, but never fear, it’s still working against you. Every time your foot goes below your hip level, you’ll remember, when it grows almost immediately to the size of a small tree trunk. And you’ll grow to appreciate the giant piles of pillows that are around to prop your foot up on at all available opportunities.
- SNUGGLE TIME WITH THE KITTY!!! Ok, this one might be just me, but as I’m basically stuck on my couch most of the day, I’ve gotten in some serious snuggles with my kitty. purrrrrrr
So this list started out trying to be somewhat funny. It didn’t end up completely that way. But alas. It tried. I’m running out of spoons, as I’ve been trying to go into the lab most days and get work done. Plus I’m TAing, which adds more to my to-do list. I will make it through.
*This list in no way is meant to suggest to people that it is a good idea to go out and break an ankle – it’s NOT a good idea, just to be clear. It is also not meant to belittle anyone who lives with a physical disability, temporary or permanent. It is simply around to maybe, just maybe, help someone else who has broken an ankle, leg, or foot smile and maybe feel a little better about their situation. Plus, it made me smile.
Please add more reasons in the comments!!